The Tuesday talks: my worst relationship experience

We carried out a survey on different people and picked 4 different stories from 4 different people anonymously. Asking them to share their worst relationship experiences and this was what they had to say.

PS. All the names mentioned have been made up to suit the purposes of the stories. In order to keep the identities of the individuals hidden.

1) MARK

I once dated a girl that I really liked and baby girl left me after a week for her ex.

2) STELLA

I once dated a guy who was supposed to initially just be friends with benefits with me. But as it would turn out, I ended up liking him and we started going out together. Everything was going pretty fine up until my birthday arrived and BOOM oga vanished into thin air. He actually ghosted me so since then till now, no texts, calls or any other means of contact whatsoever.

3) DAISY

I once dated an obsessive, very manipulative, insecure and abusive guy. When we initially started dating, he would always check my phone to know who I had been in contact with and try to find out who I hung out with whenever I went out. I never really paid it any thought considering he always treated me well at the time.

That is, whenever he wasn’t being so paranoid anyways. I’d always make up excuses for him in my mind because he told me from the start of how his ex girlfriend cheated on him with his best friend. This unhealthy relationship continued and what started becoming a norm frequently was us breaking up and getting back together again.

He eventually got worse and would ask me to hit him whenever I felt he had wronged me. I never did though but that didn’t stop him from hitting me either. It finally dawned on me and I realized that this wasn’t the kind of relationship I wanted. I never signed up to be anyone’s punching bag. We eventually broke up but when he realized I was serious this time, as the manipulative person that he was he staged having a heart surgery.

He called me up one day and told me he just wanted me to know he loved me for the last time and that he was going for a heart surgery which was 50/50. He talked about how he had been noticing signs of his chest hurting and fabricated a whole lot of things honestly. I was in so much shock that after he hung up, I tried calling back but he never picked. I tried for almost 2 weeks before he finally did and told me he just woke up.

I was so relieved that when he asked us to get back together, I didn’t hesitate. So I decided to go and visit him to see how he was and I found out he never had a heart surgery and that it was all lies. That was when I finally had the courage to absolutely end things with him. Realizing that there’s an absolute thin line between love, obsession and psychopathy.

4) ALDRICH

I once fell in love with a girl when I was in school. She was deemed as the prettiest girl in our department but she already had eyes for my very good friend. She’d usually come to me frequently just to get close to my friend and I knew this but I didn’t mind. My friend eventually noticed and asked me to tell her that he was in a relationship so she should stop all her advances at him. When I told her this, she was hurt and so I decided to take it as an opportunity to get her heart.

I low-key knew I had signed up for a heartbreak but I was in denial of it all. I began courting her and she didn’t turn me down in anyway or refuse me so I took it as her consenting and also liking me. After a while, I asked her to move in with me and we had an absolutely scripted love just like in the movies. It was amazing for me but what I didn’t want to realize was that she was using me. I’d tried to do everything for her that’ll make her happy.

I even sacrificed my study hours just to teach her so her grades could improve. I’d provide for her and give her money whenever she asked without thinking twice about it. But things eventually got so bad. She ended up cheating on me and I fell into a depressed state. Started getting involved in drugs too. Thankfully I had 2 amazing friends who noticed it all and helped nurse me back to sanity and made me realize that she wasn’t worth the heartache. That was when I eventually could leave her.

WRITER’S NOTE

I just want to thank everyone who participated in sending their stories. You’ve made the very first opening of this segment a success. Many others will be able to see that they’re not also alone in similar situations and you’ve given them courage to become better versions of themselves.

Lastly, I want to say that love isn’t all there is in maintaining a relationship. The signs of an unhealthy relationship would be noticed by you. So you’ll have to be true enough to yourself to not deceive yourself that it isn’t there.

It’s very important to notice when your relationship is getting unhealthy and be strong enough to let go. We also need to understand ourselves enough to know if we’re staying with someone because we’re truly interested or we’re just being curious and curiosity isn’t just enough.

We’ll be having the next segment next week Tuesday. You can also comment on topics you’d like to send in stories for.

THANK YOU !!!

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