Don’t Just

It’s fascinating how we can have the most profitable conversations in our minds and then the outcome of that conversation once spoken, may not get the same impact we expected.

For instance, before I write down whatever I want to share, I carefully think things through so that I can be able to create a worthy content that can be read and understood.

It usually appeals to me but when I’m about sharing sometimes, I feel like I haven’t been able to deliver the exact emotions I first had when I thought to write.

It is my job to successfully guide you through the same emotions I feel and make you understand my own point of view without alienating yours.
That is to say, even though you’re reading about my opinions, they aren’t being forced on you to accept them exactly as they are.

I respect novelists and screenwriters a lot because they have the power and ability to make their audience feel whatever they wish. They can move their audience to tears, cause a nervous thrill or even make them feel the excitement of the characters.

More or less the audience is at their mercy. To have such power while communicating is amazing, to thoroughly make the listener grab the exact information you’re passing across. To not abuse such power, is of great importance to mankind.

Communication is such a weird habit that we humans have cultured and managed to develop overtime. Although it merely involves written or spoken words, the ability to perfectly convey the right message to whoever is on the receiving end takes a great deal of effort and skill.

However, it becomes slightly different when written, it isn’t so stressful. All that’s mostly needed is for the reader to be able to completely understand.

Otherwise, once it involves verbal communication, it’s a whole new ball game altogether because whoever you’re speaking to has the ability to respond immediately, not even minding whether or not you’re done speaking.

Not just this alone but in verbal communication, we also make use of body language and facial expressions. So one wrong or misunderstood bodily or facial expression, could be really damaging to a conversation.

People tend to forget most times that while having a conversation, it’s supposed to be a two way thing. They may even sometimes choose to not care about your own opinions. Stephen R. Covey once said “ Most people do not listen with the intent to understand but they listen with the intent to reply “. When we listen to understand, it goes beyond us just trying to return a response. It involves us listening with curiosity and to get the message behind the words.

So don’t just hear, listen. Don’t just listen, learn to understand the actual intent behind the words. And if in the case you’re still unsure, don’t just assume, ask the person what they truly mean, because assuming or trying to read between the lines isn’t always so effective. There’s every possibility that you may misunderstand each other.

On this note, I’d like to add that I’m really grateful for my parents because they helped me somewhat develop this aspect of my life. It’s really funny though because while speaking to them, I usually feel like there’s this barrier I’m unable to break through sometimes.

I get so invested in trying to properly communicate how I feel to them without being rude or speaking out of line while still wanting them at the same time to listen to me. But as we all know, parents are not always easy to please, talk more of some Nigerian parents.

They’re never wrong in their ideas and we’re supposed to always listen to them. I’m almost certain that even if telepathy was actually a thing, Nigerian parents will consciously refuse to understand what you’re trying to say. It’s mostly about doing what they say, exactly how they say it.

So whenever I relate with people, I automatically become an active listener because I understand what it feels like to not be listened to. Also, due to not being clearly understood, understanding the other person’s point of view becomes essential to me. And above everything else, I want to also be heard by whoever it is I’m communicating with. So I also listen, hoping that I can be listened to as well.

Yet as funny as it sounds, even though the English dictionary may contain every word possibly needed, it is still very normal for it to not still be enough sometimes to fully convey and express the exact emotion we feel on the inside.

So no matter how much we say it, it’s possible to still think that the information is lacking. But it doesn’t mean we aren’t communicating. The most important thing is that the message is being conveyed to the best of our abilities.

We also have to remember that it’s not enough to talk and listen. But when we talk, we should consider the other person’s feelings because it is absolutely unknown as to what mental state that person could be in. In essence, choose to be nice to people. There are different issues people go through everyday. A word, once said, cannot be taken back.

I really hope I’ve been able to bless your day. Keep being motivated. You’ve been born to do amazing things. Tap into that energy and flourish.

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